7 Bottles To Build Your Tiki Bar Around
Let's demystify tiki a bit. It takes a lot, but it also doesn't take that much. Besides, it's almost Christmas...
Getting into tiki is a lot. Like…a lot. I’m not really certain I would have jumped in this deep in another year, but in a year like this, well, what else could I do? I cannot just go to my favorite bars and enjoy a drink. I cannot travel around and visit old favorites and discover new gems.
Never one to do things halfway, I dove right into a deep world. And there’s a lot there with tiki that’s worth getting into. The drinks are fantastic. But there’s also a lot that’s probably worth leaving behind, and maybe we can. I don’t need culturally insensitive mugs to make a good beverage shine. Of course, this is a home bar, I don’t have to engage those questions. Just yet at least. And certainly I’m not the only one grappling with the fact that a lot of aspects of tiki are worth leaving in the past. But that’s for another time.
Let’s say you’ve been enthused by what I’ve been doing, and you are starting down this path. Let me provide some brief bits of advice then. You should not have to break the bank to set up a tiki bar. Sadly, there’s not really anything such as one-stop shopping when it comes to rum, but I get most of my bottles (locally in San Francisco at least) from K & L Wine Merchants. Bitters & Bottles in South City will also help you build out a good rum collection. If you’ve got any other good local suggestions, I’d love to hear them. And of course, if you have any suggestions for your locality, well, someday we will travel again my friends. Until then, let’s bring the vacation to us.
Here are, in no particular order, the 7 bottles that serve as a great place to start that I would recommend if you find yourself traveling down the tiki road:
Smith & Cross Traditional Jamaica Rum
Rum is an inherently flexible spirit. It’s one of the aspects that makes it so fun to get into. Rum can mean a lot of things, as opposed to a lot of other spirits. Even across the Caribbean, expressions can be quite different
You are going to need a good Jamaican bottle in your collection. You are going to need an overproof bottle in your collection. You are going to need something that’s 57% that you will ask yourself how you drink so quickly. You are going to need a pot still rum with notes of caramelized bananas and other fun spices. This bottle is all of those things.
This is also a mixing rum. Really, most of these are. I guess you could sip it, but it shines in cocktails
Suggested uses: Mai Tai, Mr. Bali Hai, Navy Grog
Let’s dispel some notions right away. You had some bad experiences with 151 at a different point in your life. It’s not your fault. They actually discontinued Bacardi 151 in 2016. RIP to a legend that, along side Captain Morgan, turned many a person off to rum despite the fact that it’s wonderful.
So yeah, 151 ain’t fucking around. But this is the bottle you need to put some drinks over the top (all puns intended). This is a rum that Don the Beachcomber and Trader Vic built their famous beverages around. And there’s a reason!
Despite its strength, it finishes surprisingly smooth. Like many Demerara rums, it has a nice brown sugar/burnt caramel flavor. It’s deceptive! Don’t be fooled. But it is the high octane kick you need to do some drinks properly
Suggested uses: 151 Swizzle, Jet Pilot, Zombie
Sometimes you need a good Puerto Rican Rum. These are just facts. Now like with many of these, you could scale up if you are more in a sipping mood, but Ron del Barrilito 2 Star is a perfect mixing rum. It’s not bad to sip on its own either, though
Plenty of recipes call for moderately aged rums, and this fits the bill perfectly. It’s not a particularly heavy rum by any means, which lends it a lighter caramelized flavor than the first two on this list. Goes down smooth and is a refreshing addition to most drinks in my opinion.
Suggested uses: Doctor Funk, Jet Pilot, Test Pilot
Ah Martinique. It sounds like a lovely place, and someday I’d love to go sip those rums in person. As with any rum, there’s a certain character that comes with where it comes from. In this case, the beautiful grassy flavor shines. Not as much as it might in an unaged agricole, but it’s still there. It’s still got a little of that vegetal funk, if you will, along with some of the spicy notes it picks up in the barrels.
This is another fine rum to sip on its own, but again, it really takes some drinks to the next level. I find it particularly useful in trying to capture the lost magic the Mai Tai myself, but you may find some other uses too
Suggested uses: Donga Punch, Mai Tai, Three Dots and a Dash
Some rums are just there to do the job. That’s what Plantation 3 Stars is for. It’s a nice blend of aged and unaged rums that you can build any number of wonderful tiki drinks around. Or any other rum drinks really. Though I use Agricole Blanc in my Daiquiris most of the time, this is really a great rum in a Daiquiri #1 or #3. Or probably even a #2, though I make the others much more often as you can tell.
Of all the bottles here, this is a probably the best starter if you were just picking up one bottle of rum to kick things off. For most tiki drinks, you’ll need at least a couple bottles, but this bottle? It opens doors.
Suggested uses: Fog Cutter, Merciless Virgin, Mr. Bali Hai
Flor de Caña 12
So far most of the rums I’ve recommended are from the Caribbean or blends from a few different countries. But good rum comes from anywhere, as evidenced by the fine rums made by Flor de Caña coming out of Nicaragua.
I feel like their rum is deeply marketed towards Millennials, with its website talking up its carbon neutrality and statements like the rum is gluten free (uh…what rum…isn’t? Wait, don’t answer that). But I’m not normally digging through websites to find good rum, I’m looking at what is recommended by people who enjoy good rum.
It’s smooth and enjoyable with the slightest hints of vanilla on its own. But it’s also just killer in a couple of the most over-the top tiki drinks. I don’t pull it out that much so I’d say it’s the least essential of the 7 on this list, but I also wouldn’t suggest making a Zombie without it.
(note: this is one that I’ve basically only been able to find at bigger alcohol stores, for whatever reason. Go visit your local BevMo! or Total Wine, I guess)
Suggested uses: Navy Grog, Pupule, Zombie
Rounding out my list is a nice aged Demerara rum. In this case, Demerara refers to the region of Guyana it’s made in. Some day this will help me get a Learned League geography question right. But for now, it’s just random knowledge sitting in my head.
This one has beautiful molasses notes, and is another bottle I don’t mind sipping a glass by itself sometimes. Or mixing up in a Rum Old-Fashioned. This one has some richer flavors that play nice with one or two other rums. I don’t know what it is about rum, but it just does magical things when you start bouncing other rums off it
Suggested uses: Demerara Dry Float, Jungle Bird, Zombie
All told, you can probably get these 7 bottles for approximately $250. Which isn’t cheap, by any means, but you also don’t have to suddenly to…suddenly end up with 30 or 35 bottles of rum like me. No pressure by any means.
So great, now you got all these bottles, what are you going to do with them?
Let’s turn to my modern twist on an old favorite, the Jet Pilot. Sometimes I don’t want something that much, you know? Besides you gotta crush all that ice. Wouldn’t it be nice and elegant to have a variation that is served up? I’m glad you asked!
I didn’t end up paring this down too much, but I did drop the total amount of rum down to 1.75 ounces (though it’s not weak by any means). Otherwise, I tried to address what is elemental about a Jet Pilot.
Instead of a few drops of absinthe, how about a nice absinthe wash for your coupe? Do you really need that much falernum (yes, but in this case, no)? Which rums are most essential in it? Probably not all three. It’s fun to tweak drinks and see where you end up.
And that’s how I arrived at my ode to the Jet Pilot, the Ejection Seat:
.25 oz lime
.5 oz grapefruit
.5 oz cinnamon syrup
1 barspoon falernum
1 oz blended aged rum (Ron del Barrilito 2 Star or El Dorado 12 both work great here)
.75 oz black blended overproof rum (Lemon Hart 151 of course)
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Absinthe wash
Combine all ingredients but the absinthe in a mixing tin, shake, double at strain into a chilled coupe washed with absinthe. Enjoy
This is Trader Jane’s, a periodic newsletter about drinks (mostly tiki) and other fun writing. Follow me on Substack for something once or twice a week (that’s the goal for now at least), and follow me on Twitter and Instagram for more timely updates on my beverages (and for lots of other things of course!)
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